The World According to Japan
by Yowaki
Summary: <html><head></head>Japan's boss asks him a couple questions about how things are going in the World Summit. Japan shares his interpretations of whats happening. Humorous responces from your favorite awkward nation await. collection of  one-shots please review</html>
1. Japan's Thoughts

Japan was at his house enjoying a comfortable evening alone when all of the sudden, his boss stepped in.

"Hey, Japan." Said his boss.

"Yes?" Japan answered.

"What's your opinion of France?"

"France?" Japan asked as he thought about it for a moment. His boss seemed to come out of the blue with this question…and this visit. "Well, I suppose France is a very smart nation."

"Oh really? I never would have guessed he'd be one of the brighter ones. I would have put my money on Britain. I thought that was why he is so bitter all of the time."

"Well, maybe, but France is very smart."

"And what makes you say that?" his boss asked, quite curious.

"Well, it seems like no matter what the current circumstance is, France always seems to know exactly what is happening, and he always seems to have a clear view of the situation at hand. Plus, he is the only one capable of seeing Canada."

"He seems like he would make a good ally." He said, seeming to grow found of France.

"No, not really. His military strength barely surpasses that of Italy."

"Italy? Oh wow, never mind."Japan's boss said as he instantly dropped the idea. "Well next up, tell me a little about America."

"America seems to be the very opposite of France."

"How so?"

"America is a very ignorant nation. And that's as nice as I can be. He really is not that bright, but he is very strong. It seems as though the moment he enters the room, every changes. He has so much strength. France always knows what's happening, but never has the power to do anything about it, while America never really knows what is going on, but he has the power to influence every other nation involved. Maybe that is why they do not get along very well. They are in very opposite situations and they must see things very differently."

"Or they could both be narcissists." His boss said blankly.

"That too I suppose."

"Well, it's an interesting relationship they have, between both themselves and the rest of the world."

"It is indeed. America can be so strange sometimes, and France can be so intrusive."

"What do you mean by intrusive?"

"You probably don't want to know."

His boss just stared at him, perplexed by this, and a little curious. "Okay then I won't ask, but what do you mean by strange?"

"It is hard to understand America sometimes. The way he thinks is very different. He is excepting of many things without explanation, and he seems believes in so many strange and unusual things, but I guess he gets that from Britain. Earlier, he kept talking about something called a 'zombie apocalypse'."

"Oh my, that sounds terrifying."

"Not to worry. From the way he described it, I'm pretty sure that if a zombie apocalypse was at all possible, then it already happened in Australia."

His boss thought about this for a moment. "Well, I guess that would explain the current state of Australia."

"I suppose it would."

"Earlier you mentioned another nation, Canada. Tell me about him."

"He is very quiet, and he is also America's twin brother. I think we have a lot to learn from Canada."

"Like what?"

"Well, he is a very good ninja."

"Well that's exciting! There's a ninja in the World Summit!" he asked excitedly.

"Yes. I have this growing suspicion that Canada is secretly the world's number one super power. His might may even surpass that of America's." Now Japan was getting excited as well.

"Really?"

"Yes, but no one else knows this, except for possibly France, because Canada keeps it very well hidden under his ninja mask."

"Well that is really interesting! I'll have to keep that in mind from now on. How has China been acting lately?"

"Things seem strange in China right now."

"How so?"

"China's government is getting a little strict. Right now it seems like China is trying very hard not to get sued by China."

"Well, I've never heard of a situation like that."

"Yes, China is…interesting."

"Well, moving on, does Sealand still think he's Sailor Moon?"

"I don't know, I kindly asked Britain to deal with it."

"Britain does not seem like he is very good at bringing up children."

"Yes, America made that same comment yesterday."

His boss stared at him a little unsure of how to respond to that. "Uh, well anyway, how is Britain doing?"

"He seems to have his hands full with France and America."

"I could imagine. Is he still on LSD?"

"No, it appears that that is only part of his culture."

"Oh my."

"He is a strange man, but I do respect him."

"So Japan, if you had to pick at this very moment who your new ally would be, who would you pick?"

Japan thought about this for a moment before answering. "I think I would rather remain closed off to the world."


	2. Japan's New Video Game

"Hey, Japan." His boss said, trying to get his attention. "I got a call from America's boss asking for a couple thousand more copies of something called, _Enter China_. Do you know what he's talking about?"

"Oh yes, my latest video game."

"Oh of course. "

"Let America know that I will send some over right away. This game has grown very popular in America; this is the second shipment I will have sent. It was only released two weeks ago outside of the country."

"Well that's a good thing. Would you mind if I play it?"

"Sure." Japan said as he got the game out for his boss.

His boss started to play; the object of the game is to use the powers of Google China to overtake the government's robot invasion that has taken over the country.

"Well, this is certainly interesting."

"Actually, it was America's idea."

"Really?"

"Yes. The other day I was talking to him and he said something about 'evil commies invading his internet'. So I made it into a video game."

"I guess that would explain the Democracy Bots."

"Yes."

"This is a very cool game, Japan."

"My humble ways tell me that I cannot take all of the credit. The game was made up by Americans, made possible by the Japanese, and made in Taiwan."

"But, how did China respond to the game?" 

Japan then handed his boss another disc.

"What's this?" his boss asked.

"The version sold in China."

Japan's boss put the disc in the consol, and the game loaded. "Shinaty-chan Dance Party!" the television scream as a bunch of Hello Kitty looking cats jumped around on the screen.

_Meanwhile_

"Hey Japan! Why don't you come over to my place so we can totally brawl it out video game style."

That is what Japan heard as he picked up his telephone. As he hung up the phone, he sighed, but America's offer to hang out did sound entertaining. At least he wasn't asking him out to go eat. He wasn't sure if his stomach could handle American food.

Japan then packed his bags and left. He knocked on America's door when a strange little gray creature with huge red eyes opened the door for him and motioned for him to enter the house. Japan was quite curious about the creature but decided not to ask questions. It probably came from Australia.

"Hey Japan, glad you could make it." America said between bites. He was eating a hamburger while playing Call of Duty.

"Yes, hello America. I appreciate your invitation here. What are you playing?"

"Oh this? It's a first person shooter game."

"That sounds interesting. Your people seem to enjoy that type of video game."

"Yeah, it's grown very popular here recently."

Japan was watching America play the game, when he was intrigued by what he saw. "Is that the Soviet flag?" He questioned, now very curious. "How do you play this game?"

"Haha yeah, somehow they signed me up to fight for the motherland. Don't know how that happened, but we all know that I could kick his butt if it ever came to that, so I don't mind helping now." America said with a proud smile, as Japan stood there, slightly confused. "Here, now I'm the American army. The object of the game is to blow up these Japanese soldiers."

Japan watched in horror. "Oh my."

_Sometime later_

"Hey Japan, I would like for you to make a video game for me, da?" asked Russia over the phone.

"I'm sorry, I think I've had enough of video games for the day. Can we do it tomorrow?" He asked. "What kind of game do you want me to make anyway?"

"I would like to make a video game where you win by blowing up Americans. It should be an easy game since Americans are quite frankly very dumb. Maybe in later levels, we can move onto someone harder, like the very smart Japanese people who agreed to make this game for me."

Japan tried not to act phased from the threat. "I'm sorry Russia, can we do this tomorrow? Actually, can you give me about a week to start production? I am really tired right now and just need a rest. Plus, can't you blow up Americans on your own, anyway?"

_The Cold War passes_

"Japan aru!"

"Yes China?" Japan answered into the phone, for the umpteenth time today.

"I was going to congratulate you on how wonderfully Shinaty-chan Dance Party is selling here, but then I saw Taiwan playing the video game you sold to America. How could you be so mean?"

"Uhh, those are Koreans." Japan made up on the spot.

"What?"

"It takes place in North Korea."

"But then why is it Google China?"

"Umm, because you're the hero."

"Really?"

"Yes, that's why it is selling so well in America, because they look up to you."

"Really!"

"Yes, those are defiantly Koreans."


End file.
